Break My Heart Then Replace It
by Make A Shadow
Summary: A series of "things you said..." Bonkai AU drabbles.
1. 21

**Title:** Break My Heart Then Replace It  
 **Category:** The Vampire Diaries  
 **Genre:** Angst/Romance  
 **Pairing:** Bonkai  
 **Rating:** Varies by chapter

 **Author's Note:** I'm having a bit of a rough time right now, so to make myself feel better I've been drafting Bonkai drabbles on my phone. Inspired by a "things you said..." post by  lilloury on tumblr. Most of these will be AU, stuck in the prison world fics. Maybe pre-merge!Kai, maybe post!merge. I'll leave that distinction up for interpretation.

 **Disclaimer:** Title comes from ARCHIS' song "Let Me Love". And each chapter will be _published on my tumblr_ first.

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21\. things you said when we were on top of the world

He's exhilarated. He leans over, presses his stomach and palms against the railing. Childlike wonder plays at his features, tugs away the mask of bitterness and cynicism. The wind is brisk this high up, the air void of the lingering stench of the street. It is a sight.

Bonnie hangs back. She rests against the door, arms folded, and watches him. She expects him to climb the pillars, dare her to dare him to jump, maybe even jump anyway.

He throws a glance at her over his shoulder. "Don't you want to see the view?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"You've been here before?"

"No, never."

He cocks up an eyebrow. "Don't tell me the Empire State Building doesn't meet your supremely high expectations."

She shrugs but throws her eyes at anything that isn't him. Sniffs. "I've got a thing about heights."

"Literally nothing can hurt you here, Bon." Without a word, she eyes him purposefully and Kai groans. "We've talked about this already."

"I could only ever see one hundred white swans in my lifetime, but that doesn't mean swan number one hundred and one won't be black."

"Smarty pants," he mumbles under his breath before pursing his lips. He goes back to the railing, looks down. "You dare me to jump?"

Bonnie smirks. "Sure, why not?" She doesn't really mean it, so her stomach flips when he tosses his leg over the railing and then the other. "Kai…"

He wags his eyebrows. "Any last words, Bon?"

He'll be fine so she's honest. "Your spaghetti sucks. Not enough oregano."

He gasps, clutching at his chest, feigning excruciating pain. He leans away and gravity takes over. Kai slips, disappearing from sight.

Pushing past the churning in her gut, Bonnie rolls her eyes. She walks back inside, past the elevator, and goes to the stairwell. Takes her sweet time. He's waiting when she gets to the bottom floor. His shirt is a mess but he holds the door open for her to walk through and they start down the abandoned sidewalk, stepping over the splattering of fresh blood.

Bonnie glances up and over at him. She takes her thumb to the patch of skin just behind his ear and wipes at the warm red. "Missed a spot."

"What can I say? You really know how to wound a guy." He hooks his arm around her waist and pulls her forward. Coney Island is next and he's itching to climb a ferris wheel.


	2. 2

**Author's Note:** _published on my tumblr first..._

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2\. things you said through your teeth

"Gimme it."

"I'm sorry, what was… I didn't quite catch that." He heard her perfectly fine. Her lips at his ear, arms around his middle. Chest to chest. He's a fucking liar.

"Give. It."

"I know I murdered people but I do know how to use my manners."

"Give it _now_."

He sighs, enjoying the way her soft body wiggles against his. He switches the book from both hands behind his back to his right hand and holds it above their heads. She adapts by bouncing on the balls of her bare feet, the hem of her dress fluttering against her thighs, her fingertips narrowly reaching. The weight of her body causes him to catch himself on the edge of the island.

"Give me my grimoire, Kai!"

"Would it kill you to say please?"

"Go to hell."

"You're already there."

She stops, pushes off of him, and stands firmly on the floor. His mouth may be tight but the mirth in his eyes as he gazes at her is infuriating. She sets her mouth in a scowl. "You know I'm trying to study. Why do you always do this?"

"It's fun. Besides, your grimoire is archaic. Historical at best, completely unhelpful at worst."

She throws "vatos" at him, but he's quick to block it. It hits the fruit bowl instead, chucks of apples and bananas exploding behind him. "Can you even do a spell without saying it out loud?"

"Sure, I can." Then she raises her middle finger and smiles.

"Cute. You're cute." He chews on his bottom lip to keep from grinning, and then throws out his hand. She hardly has time to block his spell before it slams her against the counter of the sink. A "fuck" slips through her gritted teeth and she rubs at her lower back. Not without glaring at Kai leaning on the kitchen island. If she wanted to, she could "motis" him right into the fireplace.

"Language, Bonnie. Language."

"Bite me." He steps forward, pressing the length of his body astride hers.

"Don't offer me something you know I wouldn't refuse." He sets the grimoire on her left and gives it a little pat. "Happy studies."


	3. 4

**Author's Note:** Posting two in a day because I was really upset that ffn wasn't cooperating yesterday. BTdubs, this one is not a prison world AU. _Published on my tumblr first._

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4\. things you said over the phone

Crunch, crunch.

"Can you…"

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

"Can you not chew like that in my ear?"

Kai gulps. "Hey, I'm eating lunch and _you_ called _me_ , so don't blame me for your sucky timing."

She groans. "Did you even hear what I said?"

"Yes, I heard every grating word. Magical aneurysm inducing blood suckers. Terrorizing Mystic Falls. Fire and brimstone, blah blah blah. Remind me how this my problem again."

"You let them out."

"You locked me in there with them. So I didn't close the door all the way. Oops." She hears him sigh. "Can we discuss something else? Literally anything else. You know I hate talking business." A beat. "Are you wearing that dress I like? Somehow I can always tell."

She is. Black lace and lots of leg. Bonnie rolls her eyes and he swears he hears her do it. "When are you coming back? I hate to admit it and saying it out loud is worse, but we could really use your help."

Slurping then a cough. "Come back? Why would I do that? Me clearing out of that skeevy motel I was staying in was a one way trip kind of thing."

"Wait, what?"

"I've got a coven to think about, Bon, television shows to catch up on, interwebs to surf… I just watched all the Scream movies and I really identify with that Billy Loomis character," he rambles, balling up the foil wrapper from his burger, but there's a rushing noise in her head, which drowns him out.

She was there when he left. Watched him toss his duffel into the passenger seat of a gray Prius he'd "borrowed". She stayed mum on the general reputation of the car, figured he was being efficient on gas and environmentally friendly and that was good enough. Didn't think that the way he hesitated before getting behind the wheel, how he seemed so desperate to touch her, hug her, hold her but only settled for an awkward pat on her shoulder, was the last she'd see of him.

Her voice is small when she says, "You're not coming back?" Wherever he is falls silent, whatever he's doing stops. If it weren't for his low breathing in the shell of her ear, she'd think he'd hung up. She clears her throat, tapping the eraser end of her pencil on the page of page of her notebook. "I just thought…"

"What did you think, Bonnie? That I was completely reformed? All my problems are resolved and now it's time for me to play the hero? Fill your shoes as the savior? Hate to break it to you but daddy issues don't go away overnight."

"I thought maybe you'd found a reason to stay."

"I thought…" A gruff shout sounds on his end of the line and Kai answers it. "I've got to go. They just finished fixing the fuel pump. It'll probably cost an arm and a leg, but it doesn't have to be my arm and leg." He laughs, expecting her to too. Or at least a chastisement. He gets neither.

"Yeah, I have to go too. Unless I'm dying or dead, there's no way my history professor will give me an extension on this paper. I'll, uh…"

"You know you can't get rid of me, Bon. Tell me you know that."

The ghost of a smile touches her lips and she's glad he's far away in the middle of nowhere, Idaho, so there's no way he'd see it. "I'll see ya, Kai."


	4. 11

**Author's Note:** Something, something about a van and a ship I can only handle in fanon. What kind of foolery? Okie, focusing on my other ship now. Hope you like it!

 _published on my tumblr first_ _because i think the fam needed/deserved it_

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11\. things you said when you were drunk

He warned her. He and lady tequila do not get along. But Bonnie Bennett wanted to be the judge of that. Several shots later, salt covers the table and she sucks on a slice of lime until the pulp is non-existent. She heard him banging around the bookshelves a few moments ago. He'd pulled _Call of the Wild_ off its shelf, scoffed, and threw it dismissively over his shoulder but he's since fallen silent. She looks around the library but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Kai?" When he doesn't answer, she gets concerned. Her head swims when she stands so after steadying herself, she goes hunting. She eventually finds him upstairs in one of the bathrooms. He's shirtless and sitting on the floor of the shower stall, water drenching him. His eyes closed. Bonnie steps towards him and kicks the side of his leg.

"Hey." He doesn't respond, so she figures he passed out. "Hey!" she kicks him again, her curled toes jabbing into his calf.

He starts, spitting water.

"Eighteen years and you never learned to hold your liquor?"

"Twenty-one years and you never learned to not be such a Judgy McJudgerton?"

She snorts. "What are you, five?"

To which he replies with "I know you are, but what am I?"

She had hoped for a funny Kai, even expected a flirty Kai. This is not what she imagined when he told her she did not want to see him on tequila.

She goes to walk away and leave him to drown when he calls her back to him. Asks for help up. She obliges, sticks one hand in the stall, one on its edge for leverage. He takes hold of her palm and yanks, pulling her under the spray with him. With a quick spin, she lands between his legs, her back slamming against his chest, and blinks water rapidly out of her eyes. She growls, knowing she'll be spending half of tomorrow - yet another May 10th, 1994 - fixing her hair.

Kai's arms snake around her waist and she grudgingly relaxes into him. Her black tank top sticks to her skin, her bare shoulder blades resting on his toned pecs, his chin nestled between her neck and shoulder. At least the water's warm.

"Where's your shirt?"

"Mm. My guess is the fridge." His lips press to her throat and she wonders if he means to do that or if he's just readjusting. He pulls back, tucks her hair behind her ear, and rests his face beside hers. Licks his lips, tells her she tastes like salt, and she rolls her eyes. His hands are playing at her smooth skin under her shirt and heat rises in her cheeks.

"I get it now," she gulps. "You're a needy drunk. That's why you stay away from tequila."

"But, lucky for me, you're here now." His fingers skim the underside of her breasts and she squirms. Even at this level of inebriation, he takes the hint and lets his hands fold together at her navel.

"What's with the impromptu shower? Is it a 'get sober quick' technique?"

A laugh rises in his chest, she feels it, but halts in his throat. "More like a 'get Bonnie wet' strategy. And, look! It worked."

"Clever. And stupid. It'll take me an eternity to manage my hair after this. I'll be pissed at you for twice that long."

She expects a quip about how forever is all they have. Like she needs the reminder. Instead she feels the warmth of him abandon the side of her face. He's looking at her hair, at the way the moisture causes the strands to shrink and coil up. He mutters something about "magic" and Bonnie squirms again, squeezing her legs together.

He can't keep still, either, not with her this close. Who knows the next time she'll willingly be within his reach? Although he has grown fond of cornering her in unexpected spots around the house just to watch her green eyes grow wide like a trapped mouse. Kai holds her tighter, her bottom scooting across the wet tiles until there is no space between them. Through her denim shorts she can feel him, hard and demanding attention.

"Kai, you're drunk."

"And you're not." Not a question.

"Drinking on a full stomach helps in that department." She mentions nothing about how she built up her tolerance by having drinking matches with a centuries old vampire because it wasn't like they had anything better to do. He probably already knows that, though.

He groans, the noise reverberating through his body and causing hers to tingle. "Just sit here with me."

"As long as you don't make this weird. And that we go back to hating each other when you sober up."

" _Pretending_ to hate each other."

"Kai…"

"I make no promises, Bon."

She thinks about where she last stowed her flat iron. She thinks about toes pruning and hyperthermia, if tequila gets stale or flat left uncovered. She thinks about Samson and Delilah and how tequila is her new weapon the next time he decides to throw a fit about their collective lack of magic.

She doesn't think about Kai's soft breathing at her ear, his chin rubbing back and forth across her clavicle. She doesn't think about his hands playing at her waistband and how easy it would be to forget he is who he is, how a single twitch of her hips could have his fingers slipping into her shorts. She definitely doesn't think about his erection or how she could turn around in his lap to face him, to take her fingers and trace his jawline, to close the steaming space between them. You know, if she really wanted to…

"Is that a heart arrhythmia or are you happy to see me?"

"And you made it weird."


	5. 9

_previously posted on my tumblr_

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9\. things you said when i was crying

"It's not funny." She wipes at her bleary eyes and running nose.

"It's a little funny."

She glares at him but behind the anger lies genuine hurt. "Did I laugh when you told me how your family called you an abomination throughout your childhood? No, so shut up. Prick."

"I'm… It's not funny," he turns somber. "Not in a haha way. It's…ironic? I mean, it's one thing when your friends choose to save your best friend over you. It's one thing when you choose to help your best friend only to die doing it. It's a whole other monster when your own mother decides saving your best friend is more important than raising you. Surely you find the humor in that, Bon."

"Not. One. Ounce."

They stare each other down. Her hoping he'd soften and show her some goddamn sympathy like a normal person. Him wondering how she's managed to keep it together after all this time. He'd lost it for a lot less a long time ago.

"That's not even the point of the story."

"I don't think I care what the point is. It seems like it'll end up as some poor Elena bullshit. _It's not her fault, she didn't ask for any of this, oh no it makes so much sense, we should all save Elena!_ Ugh, I gotta say. I hope I never meet her."

Bonnie shoves him and he falls off the brick wall onto the grass. She whirls around and heads for the open door of the Salvatore boarding house, slams it behind her.

x

Kai finds her sometime later curled up on her side on the couch in the library. Her head in her hand as she draws figure eights into the cushion with her long index finger. He gets closer and can smell the singeing fabric, see the cauterized impressions.

"Jesus… I shouldn't have laughed-"

"No, you shouldn't have."

"But I'm not going to apologize either." He gets a sharp look for that. "You have to see it from my vantage point."

He strides over and plops down on the same couch, drops her feet in his lap. She, in turn, curls tighter in on herself, not wanting to touch him.

He sighs, tosses his arm across the back of the couch. "Your mother, Abby, right? She picks her best friend's daughter's life over her own daughter. My family chose their responsibilities to our coven over their children. The whole lot of us. Bonnie, we are two sides to the same coin."

"We are not even in the same bank."

"Well, now you're just being stubborn. Ignore our similarities all you want but they're there. Two kindred witches locked away from the world. Cast aside and forgotten. When people speak our names, they follow it with 'good riddance'.

"Face it, you and I are misfit toys. Ripped seams, lost button eyes, and gum stuck in our furs."

"Please shut up."

She's trembling, her middle quivering, liquid falling onto the burnt figure eights.

"What, what are you doing? What's that on your face?"

"Those would be tears, asshole. They happen to accompany crying."

"Ah, fuck. You're crying? Why?"

"I'm allergic to jerks."

"Oh, don't tell me I've hurt your feelings."

"Fine. I won't." But she wipes at her cheeks and then kicks her heel into his hip for good measure.

He hisses. "If you want my pity you-"

"I want nothing at all from you."

They're silent for a while, Kai chewing on some response. Bonnie wishing she could blink out of existence, at least out of this one.

"I'm…" Bonnie glances over at him to find his face contorted in pain. "I'm…"

"Having a stroke?"

"I'm trying to apologize. Shut up." He clears his throat and she sits up because she can't miss this. "I'm…sorry." The word eeks through clenched teeth.

"Okay." She nods. "Now say it like you mean it."

He snarls, "I did mean it."

"Then say it like it's less painful than pulling teeth."

"I'd rather you pull my teeth."

She cocks up her eyebrow.

"I'm sorry," he says effortlessly. "I…know how it feels to be chosen last for the kickball game."

"The sociopath knows empathy. Do we call that progress?"

"Only if you want _your_ teeth pulled."

"Thanks." The corner of her mouth ticks upward. "That's gratitude, by the way."

She slides down across the cushion, her body curving like an S, and doesn't protest when his hand drifts up her shin and rests at the hook of her knee.

"Of all the prison worlds in all of the universe, you had to portal jump into mine."

"Okay, Bogart. You can leave now."


	6. 5

_published on my tumblr first_

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5\. things you didn't say at all.

He comes to with a butter knife sticky with his blood and an ache in his neck. Letting it roll out of his grasp, he vaguely remembers pulling it out before blacking out.

What is with her and his throat?

He expected her to have run, to have put as much distance between the two of them as she could while his life got a hard reboot. From the carpet in the den of the Salvatore boarding house, he stares up at her. Her black boots propped on the coffee table, crossed ankles, skinny brown fingers flicking through the pages of a magazine. Too fast for her to actually be taking in the relationship advice or fashion tips that 1994 Cosmo had to offer.

No. She was waiting for him.

He groans, sits up on his elbows. "You have got to stop doing that. You're ruining all my shirts."

"You keep acting like a grown ass child, you'll keep getting objects jammed into your carotid. Simple."

"Can you at least not use a dull knife?" He rubs at the spot just under his jaw. "Show a guy _some_ mercy."

She flips a page. Squints. "Are you going to behave?"

"Maybe you just made me even more mad. Ever think of that?"

Her eyes slide towards him. "Sure. I think about that a lot actually. But-" She closes the magazine and tosses it like a frisbee on the table. "You need me, so you won't kill me. I despise you and you can't die. So it's like a game, isn't it, Kai?"

He stands, wipes his palms on his jeans, marring the denim, and scoffs. "You have no magic. You're useless to me."

"Am I now?"

She breaks into a grin he's never seen her wear before. Open lipped and white teeth, but her green eyes are cold. It mirrors the smile he often wears and his stomach flips.

She gets to her feet and sinks her teeth into her plump, bottom lip. "Because from where I stand that couldn't be further from the truth."

"You came here with no powers and you'll probably die here with none. Like I said. Useless."

"That's an interesting theory. I think I'll go with what's behind door number two, though."

"Which is?"

She steps forward. "You want something more than magic. Something more than my blood for if and when you finally do get magic."

"There is nothing I want more than magic."

"Maybe you think that's true… But it isn't." Bonnie strides up to him and tilts her head to the side, her attention on the smear of blood on his neck. No wound. Not even a scar. Must be nice. She's covered in them.

"Enlighten me," he says. She meets his gaze again before stepping around him. Circles him in a predatory manner and it's a little disconcerting. The Bennetts have never played anything but defense and this Parker has never been prey.

"We're both adults here. More than that, you and I are the _only_ adults here. When was the last time you saw a real girl before? Ei-eighteen years, was it? That's a long time to go without human interaction. Especially with the opposite sex."

"Oh, stop it, you. I'm blushing." He's not, but he is growing hot under the collar of his stained shirt.

"You said you'd been watching Damon and me for months. And you picked up, I assume, pretty quickly that I wasn't just any witch. I'm a Bennett. Why not reveal yourself immediately? Devise some sort of dire straits to activate my magic? You could've been out in a matter of days.

"But you waited four months. All that time watching. Waiting… For what exactly?" She rounds him and stops to face him once more.

"I had to figure out your weakness, see what made the clockwork tick properly."

She nods, hums. "Mm." Then she takes his bloody hand in hers and places it on her chest, and he awkwardly shifts his weight. "You feel that? That's a heartbeat. You see hearts are funny because if you injure it, that usually means death to its owner. That's a pretty standard weakness."

He tries to not swallow too obviously, her chest vibrating against his skin, her soft breast under his palm. He realized early on she goes without a bra on purpose. A distraction, subliminally. Kai slips his hand out of her grip. His fingerprints left their imprints on her white tank. She doesn't seem to mind.

"I've been clinically diagnosed as a malignant narcissist, Bonnie. You really think my intentions are as base as sex?"

A peculiar expression crosses her face and he clocks it as secret amusement. Like she finds pleasure in the idea of knowing something that he doesn't know. "I might kill you but I wouldn't _insult_ you."

His nose flares. She's toying with him. A cat batting at a stuffed mouse. "You want company. I mean, it's a little hard to be controlling when you have nothing to control."

"And I thought I was full of myself…" He rakes his fingers through his hair and steps back. Just far enough away that he can't feel her warmth, can't smell the lavender on her skin. He chews at the inside of his cheek. This is a new strategy. Most people attempt to take down his ego, not play into it.

"Come on, Kai," she baits as she watches him pace. "You could've killed me after I sent my magic away, but 'forever' is a long time to be lonely…"

He marches forward and swipes at her throat, clutches it in his fist. He can feel her struggling for air under his hand and normally he'd like that. The bulging of her eyes should make him run his tongue over his teeth. Isn't this when he's supposed to make some veiled threat, some sarcastic quip to set her straight? Isn't this how he ended up with that knife in his neck in the first place?

He wants to tell her she's wrong. He could kill her as easily as he takes his next breath. He wants to tell her she should stop wearing her name like a badge of honor if she can't live up to it. Seeing as she's here with him, she clearly couldn't. He wants to tell her she can't trick a trickster.

Sure, she's the first female he's laid his eyes on in nearly two decades and she has a pulse at that, but rolling around in between sheets isn't as appealing as she's making it out to be. Falling for her siren call? Please. He's smarter than that. Then again…he wouldn't be opposed to pushing her against a wall or climbing on top of her as she lays across that coffee table she let him bleed out beside. And, okay, maybe making her toes curl on that blood sucker's bed just to remind her what her sacrifice did, to show her what forever really means isn't too shabby of a mental image.

Instead of a snarky remark, his tongue suddenly feels too big for his mouth and her unflinching glare causes his grip to loosen until his hand falls away. Almost of its own volition.

"Mm." Mirth dances in her eyes and she smirks. "To be honest, magic or no magic, I think I like my odds."


	7. 20

_posted previously on my tumblr..._

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20\. things you said that i wasn't meant to hear

What's a girl stranded without the one thing that could save her to do? Mentally lambaste herself for her mistakes – recent and eternal – in a place that reminds her of how the choices she's made have ended her up where she is.

Kai finds Bonnie laying on her back in the deep end of the empty Mystic Falls Community pool. Clad in acid washed jeans, her trusty black boots, and a tank small enough to give her what he expects to be a farmer's tan, she has one arm thrown over her eyes and one knee bent. At first glance, he thinks maybe she lost her balance and tripped in. But he hears her exhale a weighty sigh and knows she's just moping. She's been doing that a lot lately. It's kind of bumming him out.

"How's the weather down there?"

She peeks around her forearm, squints against the glare of the sun. Kai's lounging in the lifeguard's stand. _Oh, the irony…_ She falls back into her original position. "I'm in misery."

"Wouldn't you know it? Misery happens to love company."

"I'd really like to be alone, Kai."

"Well, you came to the right place for that. This prison world is perfect for that kind of thing. Shame, though. If only you'd just let me go home, you'd have all the time in the world to be alone."

She groans and it's like everything around her echoes with it. "You've been here for forever and I'm sure you know how to keep yourself busy. So, go and do that."

He hums, throwing his eyes up at the faded red sun umbrella. "You can do just about everything imaginable when you're alone for eighteen years. Uh, minus one or two things. Okay, one pretty big thing, but hey. That's the price of living, I s'pose."

"Oh _my god, shut. Up_."

"Why so glum, chum?"

When she peeks around her arm again, he's sitting on the edge of the pool, legs dangling over the side. There are metal stairs a few yards to his right but there's still about a seven foot drop down to the powder blue concrete. He wouldn't risk the broken ankle.

She closes her eyes. "I'm punishing myself."

"Now, we both know I'm a lot better at doing that than you are. At least let me help." He cocks his head to the side, waits for her to either oblige him or tell him to "fuck off". Then he decides he doesn't want to give her the chance to rebuff him. "You were a lifeguard, right?"

"Yes," she begrudgingly answers.

"I bet you were hot. You and your itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, red and white bikini."

"Girls had a regulation red one-piece and I usually kept covered in a white hooded jacket." She glances at him. "Sorry to burst your bubble."

"Actually, you just made the image in my head hotter. Much more Baywatch…" He winks and she rolls her eyes. "Let me guess. You came here because this is the only place unbridled by all the bad shit that's happened to you."

She doesn't give him a physical sign to yay or nay his assumption, but he's right and she hates that about him. He's a little too observant for her liking. The community pool and the summer her and Matt were lifeguards remain untarnished by the hellmouth that would become her hometown.

Things were good way back when. When Matt and Elena were high school sweethearts. When all Caroline had to worry about was if the pink bikini bottoms she bought the year before matched the pink bikini top she'd just picked up from the mall. When Grams was alive and the only time anyone thought about vampires was when they were reading a book or watching a scary movie. When the only connection she had to magic was how her distant relatives were accused of being witches in Salem.

"I get it, Bon. In the beginning, I used to stay at home. Walk the blood soaked hallways. Look at our family portraits with the smiles we all plastered on. One time I tried to clean the floors. I mean, I scrubbed those bastards. Even moved my siblings' rooms around to clean where they had bled after I'd initially maimed them. And wouldn't you know it? The very next day, all the stains were back. Just as fresh as the day they trapped me in here. Hm."

He seems to be lost in his memories, his expression wistful, and Bonnie wonders over what he's musing. Then she remembers he hung, drowned, and beat his younger siblings to death and she suddenly didn't care what accompanied his memory lane.

"Fascinating and yet I'm utterly disinterested."

"I'm saying I get it. You're trying to pinpoint the exact moment you screwed everything up. Futilely, might I add. So you go to a place where you can bombard yourself with the good and the bad memories, the wrong and the right choices. It's very textbook, to be honest."

"Easy for you to say. The moment you screwed up was when you massacred your family. I, on the other hand, have made all these tiny, seemingly insignificant choices here and there…and I've landed here." She scoffs. "Sometimes I think about the people that I know and the things they've done and how they've pretty much gotten off scot-free. All I did was… Stop my boyfriend's heart."

"We live in a universe with a capricious god."

"We agree on something…"

She hears him shift, get to his feet. The slap of his Converses on the linoleum edges. "I'd say I'm pretty lucky," but it's a whisper of a thing. A mumble. He's far away and high up. She's not exactly sure she heard him right.

Sitting up on her elbows, she cranes her neck to get a good look at him. She's been avoiding him since the cave when she sent away her magic. Half worried she'll find herself on the wrong side of his rage, half ashamed that maybe she underestimated what forever really means. "What did you say?"

His eyebrows go up as his jaw drops. He hadn't meant for her to hear _that_. All these years he's gotten used to talking to himself out loud without fear of his verbal thoughts being overheard. He coughs. "Uh, nothing."

"You said you're lucky. What do you mean by that? Because I look around and luck isn't exactly a word that comes to mind."

He gets hot under the collar, which is pretty impressive since it's sweltering from where he stands, what with the sun bouncing back beams from the pool floor. If he had to put a name on it, he'd say embarrassment. That's what this sensation is. It's one thing for her to hear him, it's another thing that he now has to explain himself.

And what would he say? That of all the possible candidates to get stuck here with him, he was lucky it turned out to be her? That in every given scenario he could think of, having Bonnie Bennett all to himself surpasses his wildest dreams? He could've been sent someone dull or dim or both. Someone clingy or, worse, someone with a severe lack of foresight. Someone who did things and didn't think of the long-term effects. It doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous. Perky ass and green eyes like Jolly Ranchers.

The alternative is he could've gotten stuck here with Damon where they'd play a cat and mouse game of killing each other and killing each other and killing each other again. He shudders. No. Bonnie is better. Actually… Bonnie might be the best thing to ever happen to him.

Ugh, couldn't she have just pretended he didn't say anything?

"My coven, my family, they were all about the magic. That's definitely why I turned out the way I did. Why I ended up doing the things I did. The moment I fucked up was when I decided power was my greatest good. So, I guess, all things considered, I'm lucky to at least have gotten to meet the granddaughter of Sheila Bennett. Even if it was just so I could watch her make more of her stupid mistakes."

Somehow she knows that last statement is him covering. The way his cheeks went pink, it's kind of sweet. Well, sweet for Kai Parker. "Really?" and sure she can't hide the tinge of skepticism, but honestly she likes the moments when she makes him uncomfortable instead of the other way around.

"Relax. It's nothing for you to write home about. Whatever." He shakes his head and walks off, but she's left with a growing smile on her face.


	8. 14

_what can i say? i've been feeling inspired... so where were we? ah, yes, prison world au and all that.  
_

* * *

14\. things you said after you kissed me

She swings her toned leg over the side, back and forth, back and forth. The slick, black finish smooth against her bare calf. Her red, silk shawl had come to rest around the crooks of her elbows, her dress the color of gunmetal with straps that do nothing to hold up its bodice.

Propped up on the grand piano, she feels like a regular jazz singer in a basement club but she can't recall the lyrics to any Ella or Billie songs. So she settles for humming Deborah Cox. The song won't be released for another four years - as if she'll ever see 1998 or any future year again - but it feels right right now.

Kai's across the dining room scooping up their dinner plates. Dessert is next - he prepared a chocolate torte that'll make Bonnie's toes curl - but she's well full on pasta and whatever fruity wine he'd found in the cellar behind the kitchen. She's got the remnants sloshing in the bottle tucked between her thighs. She needed it to get through this evening, to cushion what's happening.

He'd flown them to Paris. He actually flew a plane from Mystic Falls to the City of Lights. And he let her stay conscious this time. His last tantrum had the Lockwood Mansion going up in flames while she stood by and watched. He hadn't been mad at her, per se. Just at the monotony of small town, Virginia on repeat and she spiked his lemonade with arsenic because how else was she supposed to give him a time out?

As an act of contrition, he took her on this impromptu trip. Told her she could have her pick of the fashion, even broke the windows of the store fronts with his elbow if she so much as breathed in the direction of a particular mannequin.

While she "shopped", he found a restaurant with a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower and cooked. He'd read his fair share of magazines in his time here and _Par-ee_ was all the rage. It was _the_ destination spot for that "special someone". That's not a distinction he would admit to making, but, to Kai, Bonnie is someone. Not just someone. The only one.

He lived twenty-two years being the guy people ran away from. Parents. Siblings. Girls at school. And in forty some odd years, Bonnie Bennett is the only person to hold her ground and stay. The only person who was ever willing to condemn themselves to "forever" with the Parker and, well, that's pretty something all right. Especially to a certifiable reject.

Bonnie croons, slipping across the piano top. Arms out, reaching. Pleading in song. Kai returns from the kitchen with two ivory plates and chuckles at the sight of her, tipsy and writhing. She spots him and beckons, belting from her lower register "but you came along and changed my mind..."

Past dinner tables, over her forgotten heels, he strides to her. Black slacks, black button down, the top button undone. He cleans up real good, she thought at the beginning of the night but would never tell him that. His hands in his pockets, he bites the inside of his cheek. "Aretha, your torte is going to get cold."

"Nuh uh. Not Aretha."

"Patti? Anita? Gladys? _Whitney_?"

Bonnie purses her lips, her eyes alight with mischief, and shakes her head no at his guesses. He stops about a yard away from her and she pulls herself up. After taking a swig of wine, she shakes the bottle at him. He passes. "You're no fun."

"I spent hours cooking. For you. I'd appreciate it if you'd at least finished the meal."

She considers it. But that would mean having to move, having to indulge him in conversation and Kai's got a warped sense of humor. He jokes about things that she'd go to hell for laughing at. Then again, she's already there and hell's got really delicious food.

"Can you play the piano?" She ticks her head to her left. "Grams made me take lessons when I was little but all I remember is Mary Had a Little Lamb."

He bites his lip, walks over to the keys, and squints. Sitting, he fixes his face with strict concentration and Bonnie, swelling with admiration, rotates to watch. Then he plays a few measures of "Chopsticks" and she deflates.

"I had too many siblings to really practice the craft."

"Clearly." She goes back to humming, her legs swinging, toes pointed like she learned in ballet. If her dad and Grams hadn't traveled so much, maybe she would've stuck with her dance classes. Too little, too late to think about that. She was tired of thinking, of talking.

"Bonnie, dessert..."

"No. If I eat your chocolate that officially makes this a date."

"Because the plane ride to France, the clothes, and the first two courses were just pals being pals."

She gulps down the rest of the bottle. "Yep. This would make the perfect date but I'm here with you and you are loathsome and I just can't fathom it. I refuse to reconcile the two. So, no. I will not eat your torte."

"This is the first I'm hearing of these complaints."

"It kind of goes without saying. You're...well, you." Then she giggles. "No offense."

He shrugs. "I'm offended that you're denying yourself food on principle more than anything." But he's wounded. People who are actually genuine still get the shaft? How is it he's been expected to go through these motions if they don't even guarantee the desired outcome? Hardly seems worth the energy…

"Oh, no." Bonnie's face goes ashen. "Did you...is this your first...was this a date for you?"

"This was an apology dinner."

"The last time you did that, you fixed me spaghetti on Thanksgiving."

"And this is lasagna on a random Thursday, so at least I'm consistent."

"Even down to the wine. Although..." She shakes the empty bottle at him and he takes it, both careful about not letting their skin graze. "Parisian wine is twenty times better than whatever wine the Geminis are fond of."

"Cheap Merlot, Jim Jones Kool-Aid. Tomato, to-mah-to."

There's that twisted humor again, but this time she can't contain her laughter and it squeaks out. She slaps her hand over her mouth, at which he unexpectedly smiles because, okay, he's amused by her amusement. She's a lot of fun when she allows herself to enjoy, well, herself.

She huffs and throws her head back, gazes at the ceiling. "I haven't been on a date in ages! The Gilberts don't date. I think it's hereditary. They make declarations of affection...and then they sleep with you. Then again, when your town becomes overrun with vampires and other magical beasts, you don't get a lot of time for dinner and a movie. Still. Jeremy only ever took me to the Grill."

Kai suppresses the urge to wonder if this is the part where he's supposed to care. He does see it as a shame, though. Objectively, Bonnie is an attractive girl. Woman. Young lady? Sure, she's the first female he's laid eyes on in nearly two decades, but how could guys in the waking world overlook her? Her tawny skin warm and inviting and dress doing nothing to hide her curves, she's downright delectable. Wait, why the hell is he so focused on food right now?

"But this is Paris! And, ah! That _view_!" Bonnie catches him watching her and her cheeks grow hot. She coils into herself. "I shouldn't be talking about him in front of you."

"You never have before." He raises his eyebrows. "I get it. You're nostalgic. Sometimes I miss Kelly Bundy."

She frowns. "She's not real."

"Neither is Jeremy. Not here, he's not." He walks away, switches the empty bottle with the two plates he set out for them, and returns to her. Drizzled chocolate as garnish and it's steaming warm. She can feel its spongy texture on her tongue just by looking at it. "Forget him, enjoy yourself, and eat your torte."

"I don't want your fucking torte, Kai!" She knocks both plates out of his hands, the ceramic shattering and desserts staining the floor.

Kai sighs, "Damn it, Bonnie." He looks up from the mess at his feet to the horror on her face. He figures she'll apologize, promise to behave herself, and sit in shame for the rest of the evening. She doesn't, though.

Shock at her own actions turns to curiosity because, damn, he really does clean up well and she has to make it up to him if she ever hopes he'll fix that dinner for them again.

Both of her legs dangle off the side of the piano and he stands in between them, the skirt of her dress gathered mid-thigh. Tired of thinking, of talking, she grabs fists full of his collar and pulls him to her. She kisses him, sloppy and urgent, and he lets her. She's hot and he likes her when she's defiant, but when her legs wrap around his waist he has to pull away.

"Bon..."

"No," and she closes the space between them and he shouldn't care, he doesn't care, but he doesn't like this. Again he pulls away, this time loosening her grip on his shirt. Her frown returns, eyes downcast, so he gives her a chaste peck on the cheek which doesn't last long enough to truly indulge her.

"I don't kiss on the first date. Since this isn't a date, you're cheating."

"Kai," she groans and she's not sure why. Because how he can joke when her self-esteem just took a massive hit? Because she doesn't want to hear him talk? She'd rather they not talk for the rest of the night…

There's a momentary tangle of limbs. Her hands on his chest, his hands around her wrists. He tightens his grip to get her to pay attention. "It's no fun if you don't really want it. Not this, anyway."

"What makes you think I don't?"

"The liquid courage is a dead giveaway." He knows she's not a lush. He was audience to her and Damon going shot for shot week after week. She can hold her booze.

She looks down and, whether or not she means to, pouts. He mirrors the expression, his own bottom lip poking out. "Don't be so glum, chum. Hotel Kai is always open for business. Nights, long weekends, and major holidays—"

"I already feel like an idiot. Don't rub it in."

He lets go of her wrists and cups her cheeks with his palms. She tries to turn away, to look anywhere other than at him, but he's strong and his gaze is unyielding. "What?"

He leans in slowly and sinks into the pressure of her soft lips on his. She's the one who freezes this time and it occurs to her that this is his first kiss in a long time, or ever. She wraps her legs around his hips, carefully, and he lets her, feeling her out. The hills and valleys of her body against him, her sopping tongue in his mouth, the aching invitation in the form of her dress bunched against his bulge. From her fingers in his perfectly maintained hair to his hands sliding down the flimsy straps of her dress to caress her velvet shoulders, every movement is exploratory. Undiscovered territory that's been right in front of them this entire time.

When he knows he wants more is when he steps away, out of her reach, and catches his breath. His trembling fingertips at his bruised lips, his head bowed and eyes on her and her alone. She pushes her hair back from her face and tugs her hem down her thighs, still pained from the weight of him against her. Their stare is charged, lustful and wonting. She become hyper aware of how far away he stands while he notes just how close she is.

He turns to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"To do dishes. I'm not a complete monster." He makes a flippant gesture at mess on the floor. "You should really clean that up."

Instead, she lays on her back, her hot skin against the cool surface. Thinks of scavenging for more wine. She resumes humming and watches Kai's figure retreat.


End file.
